Find Your Happily Ever After With The Intergalactic Dating Agency
Looking for love in all the wrong solar systems? Tired of traipsing from galaxy to galaxy hoping to find that perfect match, only to be disappointed? Want a little direction on what planets have the most available singles so you can point your ship and fly? Sign up for the Intergalactic Dating Agency newsletter!
And now is the perfect time as we launch our best customer offer ever!
We’ve recently discovered a treasure trove of amazing candidates for your every mating need. An entire planet populated by beings brand new to our records awaits your attention. This newly discovered species is soft to the touch, has the capacity for independent thought, and emits very little slime. And no death rays!
Not sold yet? Want to know more of what you’re getting into with these creatures? Afraid you’ll enter rest period with a shiny comet and exit to find yourself in a black hole? Don’t be! Let our experience guide you to the perfect candidate! But you’d better act fast—even a ripe, new planet has limited sustainable occupancy. Don’t miss your chance to find that one true love you’ve been searching for.
Contact us today to request an interview with one of our expert matchmakers. We guarantee you’ll find a suitable mate or your money back!*
* * *
* Money-back guarantee not valid if suitor accidentally maims or otherwise damages mate due to alien life form transition. Limited time offer. Matchmakers are not responsible for the accommodations on host planet, nor can they be held liable for any damages the planet’s atmosphere may cause. Travel at your own risk. Amount of slime emitted varies from subject to subject and cannot be quantified.